New Years approaches. I sit in my van, knowing what I want to do, knowing what I need to do to begin the show, waiting for the pittance of money that I will get for the holidays from my parents to create my new toy – an ubbrella of fire.

I have always loved that backwards image, and I need to create it. I will. replace the nylon with pre-ox, kevlar rope wrapped in something of a spiral, a different color flame on top so it looks like the base flame is bleeding into the color…

I just need money, and hopefully it is coming.

Becomming more and more discusted wih Austin, this supposedly “art friendly” town shutting me down at every possibility. In asking about a street performance permit, this is the ansewer I recieved:

“There is a $150 application fee for the permit that I issue, and a $400
yearly fee. You must have liability insurance for at least $500,000 and a
Texas State Sales Tax permit. It usually takes a couple of months to
complete the process and issue a permit.”

For one space, not even city-wide. A 500,000 insurance policy for standing still. Can’t even do First Thursday for the measly pittance I recieve to get food anymore. This fucking town is a farce, and as there are certainly some incredible artists here, the city does everything it can to spit in thier fucking faces and like a bad parent let them know that they really aren’t worth shit, and anything that lets them live thier passion and that they need to do to survive must be paid for dearly. If it’s seen, they sink their greedy fucking claws into it.

I sincerely questioning my reasons to stay here – the drums, the Firefall Heart. I don’t want to be in a place that is so incredibly full of beaurocratic hypocrisy. The frustration builds, the disgust I feel taints me, the road calls. I need to make money to hit the Busker festivals in Scotland, Ireland, Australia, and I have proven to myself that I can in all of the seven cities nationwide that I’ve visited – except Austin.

I need to wait until spring – I commited to build a fence for Cole in Gulfport, and I will be going there in January to help her with her new house.

I’m packing everything for this trip, as I really don’t know if I will ever return. There is really no reason to, nor do I have any desire to except to see the people who live in The Forest again – perhaps on the way back to San Francisco..

The road sreams to me, becons me back. I have learned many things here, but I do believe it is time to dissapear again – not running, simply following the call of life. The life I have chosen, of some strange modern-day gypsy…

I don’t sit around and wait.

…..

Other notes – had fun trap shooting today – had a blast. Going to see The White Ghost Shivers again at the Saxon Pub tonight, thanks to being slapped on the list. Go see them. They go on at 11:00.

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