I open the doors to my balcony for one of the few last times, load te CD they sent me, and turn up the volume.
From the speakers comes a wonderfully familiar voice of someone from a previous life – a life what was so incredibly instrumemtal in creating the one I have manifested for myself now – one that certainly would not exist without them. I was tought my strengths, I was reminded of the most primal of loves.
As the music plays, I swim in the past. I read through the liner notes, recognizing so many names, reliving so many memories – and then, certainly not expecting it in any way, I read my own name, under the title of “A Standing Ovation for those without whom we’d be nothing.” The tears could not be held back. The time we spent together – lifetimes – was more than justified by including my name in the DVD – something that was almost necessary in my apppearance – but this – this… This made me actually know – as many times as they told me, as many times as I felt I could do better – that I did something good.
That I was actually appreciated.
A message to Amanda, Brian, and the Brigade – I still consider you my children, my loves, my mentors. All of you are each of those in some respect. You have taught me more than you may ever know, and without question, my life would not have the beauty that it now has become without what I learned from – and with – you.
And because of you – all of you – this is my life now and in the previous months…
From Colorado, where my venture to Boston was stopped short, I emailed a friend – this was just a few days after Katrina – I asked her if there was anything I could do to help, as her home was New Orleans – but she said “No, we can barely help ourselves – and directed me to Austin, fuckingTexas…
Bur I’m getting far too much detailed. I spent four months in The Enchanted Forest, and now I am here, in New Orleans. I leave the details aside. I am here because we needed each other.
And now, in brief – I make my living as a street performer, always learning more – needing more. More happens. More is all I could ever want to be for myself an you. I owe it to us. And thus:
A few new friends and myself are creating a circus – and a circus school. This was my dream when I arrived here, and I could not have been more blessed – One of the people I have the pleasure of creating this with is one of the main figures in creating the first one in New Orleans – and of all the strangest things, *she* approached *me*. We talked, we know what we want.
It WILL happen, because of you – Amanda, Brian, and most importantly, The Brigade. Realize, at leat a bit, the impact you have. We imagine, we dream, we create.
Thank you. I love you.