I’m not going to tell you about my past weekend. I am not going to tell you about how much fun i had dancing, nor the performances. I am not going to tell you about having to wear a rediculous pineapple print sarong, or how it fit so perfectly for the gig, or how incredible Cameron looked in her borrowed one-off designer corset.

This has nothing to do with my first paid gig through my agent, nothing to do with the AIDS benefit directly before, or how we found ourselves literally in the dark trying to dress for the gig on top of the JAX building in Jackson Square.

Nothing to say about me dancing on a bench at the Dervish, nothing to say about fun improvised choreography to songs with Cameron, which i will not mention looked incredible.

This will not be about the great conversations we had. This will not be about how we closed Flanagan’s on a Saturday night in New Orleans as the sun was stretching it’s rays and bathing us in it’s brightness.

No, this has nothing to do with that.

Cameron thinks I should grab at my last chance to go see Stardust in L.A. before she goes even further away to Italy for four months. I don’t think that this has anything to do with that, either. She has enough to do without me hanging about and drowning in her beautiful eyes. Is parting easier when it’s already been done? Does distance count when it only increases geographically?

Yeah, it sure as fuck does. We wait though. We always wait for the something right, the something perfect – what else can we do? If I had the means to give up everything here and move to Italy to be closer to her, I would give up nothing – the magick we create together is the magick I have dreamed of. Nothng sacrificed, everything gained. Both driven, passionate about our futures, walking such a similar path. If i had the means, the money…

I will wait, but that isn’t what this is about, either. Not this post.

this is about me being happy that i finally cut my fingernails. They were getting long, and I found my clippers.


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