The weeks go by, the months.
Sometimes it almost seems as if you can’t even stop them. If I would, I would have stopped them while dreaming in an impossible romance, before those dreams were washed away and only the mailbox debris left scattered on my floor, my walls. If I would, i would have stopped them in the day I danced with the Hippo’s in the Disneyland Parade four years ago with Cliff and Karen. Tattoos and a tutu. It was a gas. If I would, I would have stopped them walking along the cliffs with Bean, that day right after the storm, just she and I alone with the wind and the Ravens, but
I wouldn’t want to. I’ve known people who have, or have tried. Each day the same, routine and mundane, only the seasons and replacing the empty toothpaste tube letting them know that time is passing. We can’t seem to figure out how to stop time in the good parts. Even the memories fade. They try in making everything the same and secure and I think they suffer and I wonder if they ever had dreams. I should ask my sister what hers were as a child.
I don’t speak to those people much. We have little in common – their eyes cloudy, the fire forgotten and dim.
These are simple moments
of simple days
of weeks that I hope will never, ever stop…
~~~ Finding a dollar in my tip box at the end of the day, on it a drawing of a dog and the words “Hello, sir. I think we met in a forest once.”
~~~ A random cafe’ discussion with Don, one of my favorite people to talk with. There are no rules to our talks, there are no limits to the imagination. What I remember from this one is somehow it coming around that he wants to get an elephant to ride around New Orleans. I am trying to convince him to somehow attach a waterslide to it, which led to suspending a dancs floor under the elephant with a disco ball hanging from it’s belly. Me deciding that cold fusion seems a bit too ambitious right now, so I will make my fortune (the other one, the one not made in performance work) discovering the laws of luke-warm fusion, which led to room temperature fusion, which led a bit backwards to tepid fusion. He decided to name his elephant Tepid. Tepid is a good name for an elephant.
~~~ While statuing, I had a group of about 20 kids form a prayer ring around me. It was sweet.
~~~ I discovered while reading the back of the package that all I need to do is eat 50 Peperidge Farm Chantilly cookies per day, to get my RDA of iron. I was tempted for less than the smallest fraction of a second, but I liked the thought.
~~~ A cop driving through the square while I was working, and as he slowly passed by me, he shouted “Don’t move! Police!”
~~~ Having the same cop recognize me yesterday at EnVie, smile & say hello. I am suprised when people recognize me out of makeup & costume, for some reason. I went up to the cop & introduced myself, got his name hoping to remember it, then forgot it a few hours later.
~~~ A random call from some girl who picked up my card. I remembered who she was, she was there for a bit wit her friends. She told me her name on the phone. I didn’t remember hers either, but I didn’t really want to. She was blond. Her name was forgotten much sooner.
~~~ Deciding, with Zack, that we will form a Gothic Line Dance troupe. All the goth moves in a counttry/western style choreographed line. That should freak the fuck out of the kindergoths. Need to make that happen past the idea…
~~~ and so much more.
Life right now is confusing and frustrating. Yoga yesterday (for the first time in months) not only released a bunch of toxins in my body, but seemed to get some toxic emotions that I had shelved away knocked around as well. Last night was spent in anger & doubt, finding it difficult to believe in many things, but
it’s better today. Whatever is supposed to happen, will.
It always has, and
my life has never been anything short