I can’t stop thinking of when she said she cried when I told her.
I tried to today. I tried to cry. Too many tears have already been shed, none came – only a dead stare into nothing, wondering why wondering when. Tears – they mean nothing anymore. Not from me not for this. I have only this, my life since forever. I want to call, I want to have someone, her. I don’t want to call. I want to be able to kiss them off her cheek if they come. I made that promise I can’t call I can’t say I can’t understand the numbers I have been so good yet I deteriorate faster than ever…
This is all I have. Nothing is right with this. I have the numbers.
Nothing is right. Nothing is good there.
Only one theory.
The place.

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