The tears began last night as I stood out on the balcony, as I preparedmyself for what today might bring. I remembed every minute detail from one year ago, getting out of Alberts truck after helping him begin to set up the sails we would set up to make certain that the wedding was protected from the weather, seeing Deb and Baruzula come towards us, and then Deb turning to Baru and asking her to help. I asked if there was anything I could help with…silence… they stopped, then Baru looked up, tears streaming down her face…
“Casey, I’m so sorry…”
I looked at her, I knew and my life drained out of me. I reached back, shaking, and sat down on the bumper of Albert’s truck…
Last night I had a dream. I had a puppy – it wasn’t Bean, but it was Beans energy, and we were playing – I don’t remember any more of the dream, but I got the message, and I woke up smiling, remembering fondly the times we had together.
The tears still fall, and they will – but there is a warm smile that they fall past.
I love you, Bean.
I miss you.