However it is happening, it is happening. I don’t quite understand, but I believe. That’s all I got. That’s all I need.
Big Top Magazine is coming together with a vengance, and emerging out of the purest elements of will, dreams, and manifestation.
This rag encompasses all my wants, my dreams. Make it happen. Connect people, teach. enlighten and learn.
CHANGE the fucking world. Change.
The submissions are coming in, from places I couldn’t have ever imagined – and from people who I thirsted for. They believe as well.
This is not anything small, this is not anything temporary. This is us, and what we create. This is you, out to the world.
In order to do what I want – something that hasn’t been spoken of until now, but is a necessity – in order to make enough money doing this to support the amazing people who contribute to it – and most importantly, to make enough to survive well and give the remainder back to the worldwide community – that is what I want. I NEED to give, give back. A debt long unpaid. I want to have a fund, a foundation that helps people create what they need to. An imagination fund.
I want to build my fire heart – a piece that i thougt of shortly after Bean’s passing which I have kept inside. and now needs to come to fruition.
I see a heart – anotomical, not valentines. It will stand about 13 feet high. Made of metal and glass, with veins of fire pulsing through it on the outside, and in. This heart is ours. It will be on fire, like ours are.
It will have a steel grated walkway through it, with a low fire underneath. At the entrance you will find some small pieces of wood to write down your pain, or whatever you want to let go of – and as you enter the heart, as the fire surrounds you, you will drop what you have written into the fire beneath you, and as it burns, you will be cleansed.
This is my heart. Fire, pain, beauty. It will not be extinguished, nor will it ne subtle.
So much to do. Life is exquisite.