there are times…

times, when nothing makes sense, where it all seems like it is futile.
Times where the wings of this warrior want to do nothing but fold inside of themselves, an wither.
Times where I want to be
to know
to believe
that it is all nothing.
and I can go away.

Then, when down means more, I recieve this from a friend:

Subject Thinking of You
What I meant to say that night was not that I like you now but that I’ve always liked you and still do, perhaps even loved you and still do.

I have seen your light and when I catch it just right it is magnificent and glorious!
There have been times when you have allowed yourself to fall into the darkest parts of your past where there is barely a glimmer of light, this I have seen and it is frightening, not for me but for yourself, one that I care and have so much hope and faith in and I know that it is only temporary as no one as strong and with your faith would allow to hold his breath in the dark for too long before feeling the need to shed his bright and beautiful light on others. My selfish side hopes to sit across from you again and find a way to secretly bathe in your light.

That night was surreal a dream, I’m still not sure it really took place and or that it was really me and not a character I was playing. What I felt was real, there was a moment in which I was completely present, perhaps one of the few times in my life in which I was so present. I was able to feel and appreciate your touch, you and your friendship. Thank you to me, the universe and you for teaching me to be more present in life.

Have an amazing weekend.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

and at times, maybe i do make a difference…


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