perhaps this is the lesson.
We immerse ourselves in projects so that we think that little else matters but what we are doing, what we are trying to accomplish. “Sorry, I was busy, with this, or that.” Emails go unanswered, calls ignored. “Sorry, busy. Really, really busy. Don’t like it, but once this is done, I’ll get to you…”
I now have time to look at me, this part of my life, the things that hold weight, that matter. I can count on one hand the people who have contacted me and asked me how I was in the past three months, but – I was no different.
Busy. Have this project. If you aren’t instrumental in it then I’ll get back to you – eventually. Maybe.
Fuck you for being too busy, and fuck me for being the same. Every one of these goddamn sleepless nights I question what a friend is, and in some people I know, have a hard and true answer – those are the few people that make the one hand, this single fist that I need to figure out what I want to do with, to either destroy or create with.
Sick to fucking death of apologies, theirs and my own.
perhaps this is the lesson…
I should never be too busy for the people I consider friends…
I know this side now, again.