In reply…

Sent to a dear friend that I was unable to meet today…

~ ~ ~

I’ve already vaguely told you of the sacrifices made for this. Only vaguely.

You have no idea how much I would love to escape it all, at least for one day, and dance around the streets with you, smile with you, kiss you and let you know that everything will be alright…

But unless I were doing this right now, the promise that everything would be alright would be nothing more than a lie.

I’ve come to the understanding that, sometimes, fighting for your life just might mean giving it all up, at least briefly.

I am no longer the one to sit at the beginning of the fucking rainbow looking for what might happen, looking for the end, the elusive pot of gold…

ya know what? I never want to find that pot of gold. I never want to find the end of the rainbow, never want to stop dreaming – but sure as hell, I won’t be content to sit at the beginning, either. I choose to do nothing less than ride the top, dancing high among the wolf cries that wrap around the moon, and being able to see the emptiness that I came from but never finding
just another bottom,
however much gold I might find there. Where do you go from there?

I’m doing my best to climb that rainbow, and as I’m sure you know, it isn’t fucking easy – but I’ll get there, and do everything in my power to give you a hand up…

It’s only these todays that I need both hands to desperately grasp hold to it so I don’t slip back down giving up that last hope,
and in those final tears, wish I could have done more for us…

Today is fucking beautiful, even if it might seem like we need to wait until tomorrow for it…

I’ll keep climbing, and somehow, I will always make certain there is a hand free to help you along.

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