late night, serenity imagined

Almost 3am. The Early Bird will begin its song soon, almost like clockwork, one bird, 3am. We’ve become friends in my mind – at least me, with it. I wish it – Early Bird – good morning, as it wishes me goodnight.

I swear it’s almost exactly on time, everytime, which I find pretty damn fascinating. I picture its little birdy alarm going off at around 2:30, it stretching, preening, finding a nice clean puddle to bathe then gargle in, and heading off to the tree, some treee, close to my Motorhome to begin its daily routine, right on time.

Maybe I should name it Coucou – as in clock, ya dig? Or however it is spelled, but this spelling seems to have a bit more dignity than CooCoo… and gods, where my mind does wander sometimes.

There was a very rare peace in me last night, a weightlessness, serenity, where life seemed… where it seemed normal, almost. I forgot everything on my shoulders, just watching recorded episodes of Treme while relaxing comfortably on my couch, sipping on vanilla almond milk. Everything just was, I just was, a feeling of weightlessness. No Dr. appointments taking up the month, not wondering, worrying about my teeth and the way they’re  jumping ship…

…not looking at my life, not noticing the lonelyalone, with hundreds of people I know but not being able to call any of them friend – not in the way I see so often in others… not having anyone who ever calls to see what I’m doing tonight, want to hang out, watch a movie, grab a burrito, or just walk, talk, and… laugh?

just get togther and laugh at nonsense, have a few drinks at a bar, then say in parting “I’ll see you soon” and feel warm because and happy because and not alone because it’s true, you will.

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