flux

flux. A name that becomes more and more appropriate as time progresses; a name that was given from a random thought, long before that Aeon chick got all big and famous, having a movie made out of her and all that. No, in case you’re wondering, we aren’t related as far as I know, but then again, I’ve never known my mother or father – hell, they could be cool cult cartoons as far as I know.

It couldn’t be more deliciously perfect that the Temple of Flux at “That Thing in the Desert” burns on my birthday – the Temple burn has always been the most sacred part of the week for me, commonly visiting it at least a few times during the week for the energy that swirls in and around it – the loss, the change, the transformation…

Life is incredible these days, the Magick I once knew comes back, I’m learning how to listen, learning how to know it again. The lessons come & I pay attention, the clues to a life where Spirit comes and intertwines beautifully with the material world, and I am again becoming. – A small yet incredible example (because after all, isn’t everything incredible? Amazing? Awesome – and exactly as it should be?) is that during the first tow of my home my still camera and video camera, which I had worked so incredibly hard for, waited for, and finally after so much time was able to get because there is some reason I have to need to let you see the beauty that I do – well, in the few moments the cop gave me to pack I couldn’t realize what I was dong through the tears, frustration and anguish and ended up putting a couple of large bottles of water on top of them in one of the two bags that I could barely carry trying to figure out if I had a place to sleep that night, trying to figure out how to exist without bothering anyone else – well, both of them were crushed, the still camera actually bent, the screen on my vidcam, crushed. These are small things, but things I like to have. I like to be able to occasionally go back in the past – or share the present with you in ways that sometimes simple words can’t convey… and of course, for CultureFlux & where I am planning to take it. Still, they were gone, & that was it. For a few seconds I was pissed off, but then – why? I’ve lost & given up more things than I can even number to live this life, & detachment has become a part of it. Not a bitter, false detachment, but a way of the heart that says that everything is fine, exactly as it should be…

Then. Then towards the end of last month, for the first time in weeks because there was no reason to before, I checked my bank account.

Umm, wait. before I go any further I need to wind up my generator & plug in my laptop. I have taht exclamation mark thing on the battery monitor. Back in a minute…

k. back. Anyway, at some time during the month SSDI realized that they shorted me on a few checks at the start of this whole thing – and the amount was just enough to replace my cameras, not for the old ones but for better (because eBay *rocks*), get almost a full tank of gas…

Just an example, a small one – a material one.

There is so much more going on inside, so much more remembered, so much changing bring me back to Spirit. The Universe is working with me. I am a part of it again.

There is so incredibly much changing  –

and it is beautiful.

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