There Will Be Blood (Stage one of mouth removal)

It began yesterday morning. With excitement built up from the first time I walked into the small, nondescript office tucked in back of a building in the Tenderloin and I sat down in the chair, from years of seeing it coming – and over the past year seeing it, feeling it not only physically, but deep in my psyche the process of removing my mouth was begun.
I don’t care how good of a person someone may think they are – there are times where we find it difficult not to judge, where what we’ve seen & been taught over our lives rears up and as much as we may fight it, it still sits in the background of our minds in some twisted little fashion – or at least to the degree that my teeth were looking. (In my “upbringing”, my parents  – mainly my mom –  judged absolutely everyone by appearance, so though I’ve come a long way, I still judge myself… and teeth, teeth are a big thing…)
Alas, due to absurd amounts of drug use over 20 years ago, then the way the meds I’m on now dry my mouth out and take away the natural cleansing of the saliva, my teeth finally began to revolt – falling out, snapping off at the gum-line when taking an over-enthusiastic bite of a bagel (“Ohhh, shit. That did not sound like it should have…”) and me, becoming more and more self-conscious & insecure to do something as natural to me & needed for my spirit as simply smile
I felt as if there should have been some illustrious ceremony to commemorate the event. I mean, it’s quite seldom when someone has something like eight or nine teeth dug out of their skull in a single sitting. Considering the small space in the room where it happened, however, perhaps just a short skit with your typical good & bad guys – with of course the good guys – the tools used to cut, dig, pry, grind, , and excavate the mess deep inside the bone of the jaw, being the outcasts of society, unappealing & unloved until the job itself is over. Alas, there was nothing like that –  just straight to the serious business of removing most of the left half of my mouth. I think the smartest thing I did was to not look over at the tray of torture devices, but occasionally, my lower lip was used as a fulcrum, and though thanks to what felt like about three gallons of anesthetic the pain in the area of tooth removal was manageable, (but gods, the sounds!!!) this felt as if someone had accidentally placed a truck on my lower lip & jaw as the dentist fought to remove the bad guys… I guess in the skit, he would be the money man, the controller of this band of misfits…
And now, with those teeth gone, it is just a matter of days until the rest are removed – this coming Monday at 9am and I will have a mouth where ALL the teeth have been, at least for a short time, replaced with blood.
Right now, I actually feel good – though of course the underlying terror of this coming Monday sits in the recesses of my mind… and then after that, after the healing, I will be set up with some wonderful new teeth – and again, I will be able to smile. Simply friggin’ smile, without feeling horribly embarrassed.
I’m hoping to be able to get a few different sets and have some fun with them – glue some beautiful Swarovski jewels to them to catch the glint of stage lights, OH – and MIRRORS, so people actually can see themselves in my smile! The possibilities are there…
Wish me luck this coming Monday – send out good healing energy, say a prayer – whatever your fancy – there’s still a lot to be done.
Yes, there are pictures. Of course there are pictures. We’ll have fun with that after I recover from the next appointment.
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3 responses to “There Will Be Blood (Stage one of mouth removal)

  1. Congratulations!!! I know from experience how momentous an occasion this is. 🙂 I look forward to seeing your new smile, and yes, you should TOTALLY glue your name in bling on there.

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