Thirteen. The blood flows again…

Dead to the world exhausted. Feels like all life has been sucked out of me, but I get a booster to help my red blood cells tomorrow so that may do something – essentially my body is suffocating, as the cells that carry oxygen to it are killed due to the meds… and the blood loss from having my teeth pulled certainly didn’t help… it finally stopped after five days. Man, do I have pictures. First warning.
The past days were spent at Bobzilla’s. Gods, it was wonderful, needed, being able to clean, sleep, relax.
I counted. Thirteen more teeth on Wednesday,  the final thirteen. Will try to write, butthe energy – there is nothing in me, a shell containing nothing but a heart that needs to write, needs to work, but the body will not acknowledge the fire inside – my mind, my heart, they still work, still scream for life – but the shouts are lost in fading echos bouncing off the carcass of a man…
Thirteen. Then more to fix this, to fix that, bringing back the blinding light of the passion inside now shrouded, clouded by this silly thing that has wasted away.
It will come back. My heart & mind will do waht it needs to, as this insatiable thirst for life, beauty, and the purity of each perfect thing that makes the heart so full it explodes – there is always more out there to remind me that it is all in here as well, wrapped in fire, breath, and love.
…and I wonder where those words came from. I just wanted to write a couple lines, but kniew that would be almost too much to ask. It’s not always like this, just much of the time – but still, only a body, & it can be fixed good enough – it sure as hell wasn;t always like this, nor is anything forever.
Hell, look at me. I need to be in bed – but damn – even though I have no idea what I’m saying, it’s pretty exciting saying something… I’ve wanted to for days…….
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s