Feeling Alive…

Out on the patio at Maitri, a night spent losing the battle of trying to sleep. I guess it’s time to call insomnia the winner, though I’m so damn stubborn I’ll probably try again after this entry.
The day before yesterday was perhaps one of the best days here, as most of it was not spent here – after an appointment at SFGH on Portrero and not in the mood to stand in the cold San Francisco breeze waiting for the bus, I started walking. Up to Mission, loving the stroll on the sunny side of the street, zigging and zagging around the people, traveling at my own pace and when hungry, stopping at Taqueria Can Cun for a veggie burrito – a slight cheat that was pure heaven. It’s amazing how my appreciation for the food I used to eat almost every day has grown -something I need to remember if I ever lose the love for a good meal. Still, I don’t think I’ve actually been hungry since I was admitted here – three meals a day is something that I’m not accustomed t0, and quite honestly, something that I don;t think I need. I like the way I appreciate food much more when I’m hungry.
After the burrito I walked down to 16th St. and looked up towards Church. I was surprised to realize that I probably could have kept on going, but the bus was right there – and I had already walked further than I have in almost a year, with minimal pain or discomfort.
There is no way I could have done that just a few short months ago – but thanks to all the herbs, research, help from others so I can afford the herbs I need  – and determination to get better, my life and health have made a 180 degree turn around. I’m winning the battle.
There is still a ways to go, but just that walk was monumental – I felt… I’m feeling ALIVE !
I’ve decided to start getting my motorhome back in shape and legal, which unfortunately comes with sacrifices – I need to pay off two old parking tickets, get it tuned up, smogged and registered, as I need to keep this feeling, need to get out on the road. Weekend trips to the mountains or quiet beaches… there is little more that I want right now but to get rolling. I am not a sedentary person, and something as simple as that will do wonders for my spirit. I just need to figure out which herbs I can cut back on in order to afford to pay for the few things my motorhome needs – the main things being the two tickets that have grown to $155 each, but I’ll do it – somehow, as a birthday present to myself.
And now, I try again for sleep… definitely need it as, although the sentiment  is there, this writing is crap. Harrumph.


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