Piece by Peace (or, MotorHeart)

A smile crosses my face as I wake to the sound of birds hopping around on the roof of my motorhome, playing in the tree above me and chirping like they’re gossiping after a Sunday 10am mass at church.

I’d forgotten about this, and I’m in ecstasy.

It’s my fifth consecutive morning waking up in my beautiful home, my comparatively huuuge full sized, unbroken bed, my cabin in the woods, my beach house; my sanctuary, and finally I have found a spot on my favorite street to park in San Francisco, aptly named Treat.

I’ve been chipping away at my to-do list, and adding new things mechanical, aesthetic, and both almost as much as I check off others. Some things necessary but not requiring immediate action such as giving the electrical system a really good look, labeling active wires and doing away with unnecessary ones with so in the future if anything goes awry on the awroad I can fix it with little headache, larger tasks like painting it (mostly) white or ripping out the couch and putting a booth in, (creating more floor space while still having a guest bed), re-carpeting & re-upholstering to rid it of the lovely ‘80’s hotel-room peach motif, and things that are completely ludicrous such as figuring out how to make it fly or float, or installing a hot tub on the roof.

It feels So Damn GOOD to be able to work on her again I never want to run out of things to do, and as she’s twenty six years old, I’m a good mechanic and I have a damn good eye for design, (something I’m not too humble about) I doubt I ever will.

Piece by piece she’s coming together; I’m doing as much as I can to save my last $5 & change for just a little bit more food since that not only is good for a certain thing called hunger & keeping up my energy and health, but I need to take almost all of my dwindling herbs with something in my belly. I could go to Maitri for meals, but that either means giving up my space and using the last of my fuel, or taking the bus for one $4 round trip leaving me even closer to completely penniless and her all alone with most of my things inside, as I would want to take advantage of the time there to shower & pack more.

The main thing that is looming over my head and creating undue stress is the desperate need for a good tune up, and that needs to be taken care of ASAP. It’s one of the very few things that I prefer and want to have done by a professional, at least the first time. Until then she’s running rough, with black smoke billowing out of her pipes polluting grossly and drinking fuel like it’s an ice cold Pabst or fresh lemonade on the Playa. A good tune would fix that.

I have a beautiful vision of pulling up to the DNA Lounge on the 10th with her purring like a kitten, and  right now, it’s only a vision, and my disability check doesn’t come for seven days, which is an eternity right now.

The chirpy-hop birds have taken flight somewhere else and I have a relatively full plate of things I want to work on today, so time to put Clotho to sleep and get my own ass out of bed.

Good morning, beautiful life… and thank you for letting me stick around.

2 responses to “Piece by Peace (or, MotorHeart)

  1. KSea … I hope you receive this …. I just heard of your situation. I am so sorry!!! I had no idea. It saddens me that you have been going through this struggle. I will never forget the night you told me about your favorite book “Water for Elephants”. I did get it and read it and enjoyed every minute of it!!! Thank you!!!! You have always been a joy to talk to whenever I was at an event with Patrick ( Pickle). You hold a special place in my heart!
    Thinking of you with fondness …. Linda, aka Lady Moran ( Pickle’s Mom)

    • Beautiful Linda – Hello!

      Please, please don’t be sorry, as there is nothing to be sorry for. No regrets, right?
      Given, it has been one hell of an interesting year, and there was a time that I didn’t think I would make it – but I guess that’s what I get for thinking.
      I’ve learned some amazing things, not only about myself but about my *new* family, as the old one essentially abandoned me. Not hearing from my sister for nine months was the absolute worst, as I thought at least she & I were friends – but she seems to travel the same path of ignorance & denial that my mom does. Quite frankly, I’m getting rather sick of this abandonment shit, from being put up for adoption at three months – and then I guess again at 43 years…

      …but Linda, I have found a new family, a HUGE one, and it is their love and support that has carried me and literally kept me alive, not only in helping with the *will* to stay alive when things were dark inside, but also helping afford the herbs I need, as of course insurance doesn’t cover anything they can’t control and make a buck off of.

      All in all, it has been a year of lessons and enlightenment, and though it was a hard one, there’s quite a bit of truth to the old adage of “That which doesn’t kill you…”

      Linda, I have found an amazing strength, and I will use that to go after my next goal of completely ridding myself of the Hep C Virus – and then writing a book so that people afflicted by this dis-ease and the Western Medicine rules can break free of both, and ultimately find the strength they hold inside them as well, that lays there just waiting… waiting… waiting.

      Much love to you, and I look forward to seeing your beautiful smile again sometime soon.
      ~ kSea

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