11.11.11 ~ Love, Gratitude, & Recovery

11.11.11

5am

Swollen feet, ankles & calves, the pain not felt until the night had passed and the hours crept well into the morning, still dark.

The pain and swelling of my legs will go away within a couple days, but the night will live forever in my heart, in my soul, in the way I am everlastingly changed, for it is you that constructs the man I am, as the family of friends I have found unknowingly molds, forms and creates the person you know today.

 

I want to be better for you, I want to give you all that I am, I want to tell you in words that don’t exist how grateful I am for each one of you, and show you what you have created with your love by giving to the world what you all have given me.

I want them to remember the beauty of life that we all had as children, when we knew that the world was ours, even if it was one we had to create in dreams. I want to be evidence for them, so that they know with all of their hearts that those childhood dreams can be a wondrous reality now.

 

I wish I could have thanked you all that night, each one of you individually, but each step I took in one direction left me halted or pulled in another by someone else so it was impossible to do what I wanted. Being who you are, I’m confident that *almost* all of you can understand this; and to those who can comprehend that this semi-recluse was spread too thin to get everywhere, I can’t articulate my gratitude for such a beautiful and magickal evening well enough to satisfy what I wish to say. I want to actually look in your eyes, hug you warm & tight, & have that action declare what any words I can write here fall far short of – although for now, these words will need to suffice – and if you can, imagine me holding you and looking into your eyes, and you may feel how much love is behind them:

Thank You.

You created an exquisite evening, a beautiful celebration of life, of love…

and it will live in my heart, swollen with love, forever.

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