I really didn’t do that much, not at all. Cleaned, vacuumed, put things back in place & re-placed others, checked out the engine… & just enjoyed being home. Immensely.
You can’t really even call it work, but it made me realize, made me remember how much I have missed feeling like… feeling like I was actually *doing* something; something that may matter only to me, but when I’m done I can step back, look around at what I have accomplished, and see, with my own eyes, like I made even the smallest amount of difference.
Gods, I have missed that feeling so profoundly, but until today I couldn’t put my finger on what the emptiness was, why I was so angry, why I felt so useless.
Getting my hands dirty, feeling the strain in my muscles, using my mind to figure out problems… and the rewards of a day – or at least a few hours – well spent.
It makes me feel alive.