one step.

4:06am

Sleep.

I watch Ruby curled up against my legs, doing her best to take up as much of the bed as possible, and envy her sleeping so soundly, so peacefully.

So serene.

I sleep a lot, but it has been a long time since I didn’t have trouble getting there, or wake to another day wondering what I do now – wondering where my life is going, who I become. Having the will to become that person…

So many things I want to do, thoughts that bounce around inside my head, each momentarily taking on a bit of life until the next one knocks it out of place, leaving me with only a glimpse of the passion I once knew for life, for living, for being something or someone new. For creating.

I need to find a place to begin again – the majority of two years spent trying to stay alive, learning how to walk again, building back the muscles… for this? This recluse, this uninspired shell of who I once was?

 

I know that, as always, it’s as simple as taking that first step, whatever it may be. I know that once I begin doing *something*, it will all fall into place, and the world will open for me again.

 

I just need to take that step.

Advertisements

One response to “one step.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s