…and Life begins when the heart is seen again, and opened.
A gathering of friends today at CELL Space to help recreate it – Mike recently took over the lease and has now begun making it into what it can be. If anyone can, it is he.
Seconds after I got out of the car I see Keno, who says he wrote a poem about me the night before – a poem of dreams, he said. I replied that it is the best kind. He asks about CultureFlux again, and I am still tentative. I feel that he is the only person including me who wishes that to start up again – all consuming, for so little that it gives back, but I can’t deny that beginning it hasn’t been on my mind, if only to get my blood pumping again. Still, there is a deeper desire to perform again.
Then, inside, letting Ruby off the leash to cause havoc with the other dogs, Shannon, Mike’s wife, comes up to me and says that she has been meaning to get in touch with me for this year’s Edwardian Ball – if I would join Vau de Vire Society as a statue with the others, this time creating atmosphere around the venue instead of simply on stage.
Gods, yes. Both nights.
Then, seeing Mike, I asked what was needed.
Painting. Why is it always painting? I loathe painting – but I was there to help, and at least this time, considering that – painting wasn’t so bad. After all, I was already walking on clouds…
Amazing what life will offer if you just show up for it.
Last night, for the first time in far too long, as my mind wasn’t letting me get to the sleep I so desired that easily, there was a notion. A notion that turned to a thought, a good thought that twisted itself into inspiration. Inspiration about a production I could create, then another idea, and another… so involved, so beautifully intricate, incorporating a collaboration between Bad Unkl Sista, Vau de Vire and myself, bringing to life my battle against death over the past years – making it art, making the ugly beautiful, hoping that it inspires. So very much work to be done before I even present it to them – at the very least an outline of the scenes…
But I truly believe that it can happen.
All it will take is showing up to life, and work.