through the door, find me

“Always be careful in the beginning.”

Through a muffled haze of consciousness these words, reminding me, reminding me. Through this simple wisdom they all come back, inside, sounding like many but only all because that’s what I wanted to give, wanted to and did, and for those moments I believed in the light again, foolishly, my heart turning to it like a flower to feed from the sun it so needs, opening, showing how fragile it can be.

I am not a flower, the sun now burns. This is what I need to remember – that the brighter the light, the blacker the shadows.

Where should I stand? Perhaps I know, but choose to ignore the safest place. Just for now, let me remember how much I miss romance. Just for now, let me believe in what could be. Just for now, remove the bullhorn that stands at the door to my heart keeping you away. You offer your arms but I want more, I want more because for those few brief moments everything seemed perfect and I was able to forget me. I was able to forget me and everything was perfect and you let me forget.

 

I need to remember. This time, you are the apparition, the illusion. Still, I see you. The world is slippery. Here, take my hand. Take my hand, hold my heart. If you can, if you’re strong enough.

I see you.

Walk through the door, you are welcome inside. Walk through the door, I’ve been waiting. Walk past the door, there are worlds beyond it. Leave it for all the others to find… or stay there, leaving us both in our different worlds of what could have been. Let the beginning be where we open, not close. There are new lands to shine our light on.

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