Consciousness

…just doesn’t seem to be in my game plan today… at least not yet.

Waking up at the crack of 1pm, stumbling the few feet to the kitchen to throw water on the fire for coffee, and in my haze completely defying the saying that ‘The watched pot never boils” – but honestly, I really wasn’t watching it with all of my focus, only all that I could muster at the time. It wasn’t much, but although the water did boil, it seemed to take longer.

Getting a call from a dear friend that her cousin had just passed, doing my best to be as much as I could for her, but I never know what to say.

I don’t think I ever want to know. Some things you just need to feel, and put all of your trust in that. Trust that you won’t say too much, or say too little. Pray that you won’t say something stupid or insensitive. Wish that you had more coffee coursing through your veins, or the final drops of a shower falling off of your body.

I’ve watched far too many people die, and it never gets easier for those left behind. All that can be done is to raise your cup of coffee up to the sky and say “Be Well, be at peace, and though I hope I don’t see you too soon, know that you will always, always be with me until that time.

Yeah, I don’t know. Just going to take a shower, make another cup of coffee, and see what else the day has for me…

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