The only thing you need to do is walk out the door. Look. See. Ask and be. Be your fucking beautiful self.
Minutes ago, I took the three flights down, relishing every step with Ruby bouncing and running in front of me, remembering that just over a year ago I did not the strength to walk up them… and up did not taint my mind with the possible fall from the weakness I had become. This time, no cane, and three steps at a time down. I mean hell – my legs are long, and simple stairs should not terrify me like they once did. I grow. I get stronger, more confident and assured. I am not the pitiful shattered person I was.
Ruby was waiting for me at the top of the foyer stairs, just like I taught her. Five marble steps to the first door, I understand if you see another dog and want to play but if you do not, stop and let me bind you to me, hooking your red leash to your collar, searched endlessly for and found with skulls and fleur de lis. But I regress. she doesn’t give a damn about her collar…
I attach her red leash on her (always thinking about style) and this gorgeous black and tan creature knows that is the sign, gets ready. “Okay, walkies.” I say in the most commanding voice I can muster – and as usual, she leaps for the door nearly ripping my arm out of its socket. I have learned this and give her freedom. for a few thrilling steps…
But then we saunter, and she sniffs the world outside, and I recognize a good acquaintance walking down my street, MY street, at this hour, this moment, this – is perfect. A brief conversation and I find that he may be moving away from the City, and
and now he has bestowed upon me HIS brilliant sight, (I accept no credit for this) to be the King Fucking Shit (aka artistic director, choreographer, song writer (to those we don’t cover, permission already granted by someone who I hold in dear and everlasting esteem, Mark Growden to honor -) ahem… King Fucking Shit – Rec Les’s vision, to form and create THE DEEP THROATS, your everyday raunchy acapella group.
Look for us. I am making changes and have the blessing of the brilliant mind who conceived it. His birth, my milk.
Oh yeah – did I forget to mention that my voice can find its place and depth? I think I did – but from the start, this never would have been more than an unrealized dream without Mark and his singing workshops. Quite honestly, as much undying spirit that I have, I would not be able to find the courage to sing without him – and once found, things just happened.
Just walk out the door and realize how fucking beautiful you are. Open your soul and find good people, or find anyone and ask them questions. If they are walking a dog with love and care, love them, admire them, pet their dog. The pup is a reflection of the person that cares for the dog. Love the dog, then try to love the person.