It is in times such as these, with so very much past behind me, that I need to remember the present and all of everything.

I lose myself, have lost, am lost, but the exquisite memories of who I am taunt me, haunt me. I continue.

I continue and wonder why. Who am I now?
I don’t want to seem an ungrateful dissatisfied fuck, for this life that I have lived has brought nearly every dream, fought hard for and won…

I look to the shadows of who I was and realize that there is still more that I must become… and will.

I must not let fear control me. I must reach beyond everything.


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