Filling in the Holes

December 4th (Edited from Facebook)

It amazes me that even after all the time I’ve lived here, I continue to be blessed by amazing new people coming into my life, heartfelt conversations with them, and the ease in which a special bond is built so quickly, so freely.
I remember in the past that though I knew many people, most were simply good acquaintances…and deeper into my past where I simply did not know how to talk with anyone – nor did I want to.
My, how things have changed.

As I look back in introspection, it seems that the most profound growth was in first finding, then finally meeting my Mother.
It was always there, haunting me, creating who I am, but seldom anything I could ever talk about with the depth it deserved. They wouldn’t understand, they couldn’t. If I began talking of my adoption, then everything must be kept on a mundane conversational level. “Nice Weather, yes?” I’m adopted and feel incomplete, unworthy, unwanted, broken, lost.” “Do you take cream & sugar in that?

Now, after a lifetime of wondering and 24 years of actively searching, I can simply say “I found my Birth Mother!” “I met my birth mother!”and don’t have to be afraid of making anyone uncomfortable, because it begins with a happy ending. They don’t need to find words that they don’t have anymore.
The hole that I had always needed to somehow navigate around has been filled.

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