The anger seethes it is not for your eyes I hide it I hide it I hide it to keep you safe from what I have inside all of the screams all of the death all of the wondering why fucking WHY?
This smile is genuine, I don’t know how to be anything else but
you only see the surface, only see what you want to…
as do I.
I lie. I cheat. I pretend. I am a misconstruction of everything inside, all that builds me
I look up, see the beauty in the sky, feel the wonder.
I ask myself every moment “am I true to me? Is this real???
I have decided that in her, it is. I have decided that in all but a few of you, it is not.
I do not take naming anyone a friend lightly – I have learned far too much for my own good…
but perhaps it is for my good. I do not tolerate fools. I cannot tolerate ignorance. This…these are lessons learned through an exquisite life, and now I open up my hear again with the same passion and vehemence that is SO fucking familiar…
and so perfectly hidden.
There is only one thing that I do not question.
this is my unwavering love for all of you.
My heart has been through many things… things you shouldn’t imagine.
But it will never be so scarred and broken to accept someone worthy of it.
You will be looked at clearly. I will decide.
if you are true. or if you only want to be – that is all it takes.
my heart has room for you.