All of me – all of my life, my loves, my mistakes, my small triumphs…
She reads it all. Every. Fucking. Word… that I have written
– except for the seven handwritten journals, the countless bar napkins, torn pieces of paper that needed the ink in my heart, all of the words that have been tossed out of a car window to decay, to rot…
but perhaps those again in time… I hope not. Far too much rot.
She reads, rattles the bones of my past. I gave her permission. She didn’t need to ask, but – she did.
When she finds something that speaks to her, she says little but the date, sending it to me in a message. Sometimes, with her own few words or part of mine.
Where did I find you?
How much will you cost?
Rattle and cast these bones, tell me what they say.
I will pay any price for you – but I will not give everything.
I will keep this language and its source – the boiling in my blood, the passion in this heart… but I give my heart to you.
Not sure how that works… but it does.
You remind me of who I have been.
You remind me of who I am.
Is it odd to shed tears for a past that can’t be brought back?