neat enough

It’s neat enough
clean enough, this precision at which I can remove myself
remove another
and make me not want
what I cannot have.

It is what I have been taught to do from my first breaths in this life.

The tragedy lies
where there might still be a possibility
where there might still be hope
but, as trained
my heart has already gone dark
and there is no more light to show you
the beauty it holds
and in my lie
I long for you

in silence and
sorrow
for what could have been

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