Four Years Later I Again Meet Death at the Table – and Laugh.

So incredibly thankful EVERY day, *for* every day. Not just when they tell me to be on this gluttonous holiday farce.
So overwhelmingly grateful for *you*…

I have a tremendous amount to be thankful for, and each day – each *breath*, it grows.
I must admit though – at this very moment, there is a bit of apprehension sticking it’s fingers into the sockets of my synapses, as with the recent change from the prescription poison diuretics to purely herbs, I’m going through the herbs VERY quickly, don’t have $ for more *or* the specific foods I need that help – and they will take at (usually) a couple weeks to catch up to full force.

(I stopped the prescriptions because my promise to take them during the hep-c drug was fulfilled, but during that time they ripped iron from my anemic blood, gave me the gift of all the cramping & hellish sleepless nights, and jus generally – not good stuff.)

Getting Back into the Swing of Things & wiping the nervous sweat from my brow…

Since 11/17, I’ve gained 19.4lbs in fluid, mostly in my abdomen, and though I *do* have some milder herbs I was taking with the script pills – I need to get the things that will help me step the hell up.
This is what I was talking about in all of those overly verbose posts that I can’t blame you for not reading – lack of stability. This is the time when it is the most fragile. Where every single action I take – or don’t – could either bring it out on the other side healthy, shining, & ready to take back the world… or end it.

Thumbing my nose at Death

Soon, the FurBeast & I are off to Victoria’s (Cowboygirl) sis’s house for a semi-small gathering, and if her sister is anything like her – I suspect a huge, “take care of everyone” feasting.
In the front of my mind is the last time I spent TG with Vic, at her house. Four years ago.

On November 27th, 2011, the very next day, I was in the ER, intubated,  & on partial life support, jacked with a chemical paralytic … and unconscious for a week or more.

It’s completely foolish to even toy with the idea of it happening again, but with the sudden weight gain & fluid retention, swelling, and need for new abdominal truss’s/binders (my old ones served me well, but have hit their “planned obsolescence” point, I guess) – there is a lot that can go wrong… but just because I’m doing nearly the exact same thing doesn’t mean that it will, of course.

Still, I’m frightened… but I think it’s time to walk through it & laugh it off – after all, the more I focus on being *sick* instead of getting better…

I still need your help – PLEASE, if you can. Getting past this is, I believe, the final *known* hurdle – there won’t be any more drugs started or stopped, and I just need the herbs & overpriced tools to keep my insides from falling out.

My Paypal addy is ksea@culturefluxmagazine.com – and once again, I really need you. A 20 POUND GAIN in 9 days is not good, and I KNOW how to get it off – I just need the things to do it with.

It’s going to be an OUTSTANDING evening, and I’m going to stop entertaining such absurd fears NOW. (But ya gotta admit – it *does* fit far too well for a repeat!)

To each and every one of you – I LOVE YOU, and that gratitude I feel for having you in my life… is purely overwhelming at times.
Most of the time.
In so many ways, you *continue* to keep me alive… though I must admit, I do a bit of work along those lines as well. wink emoticon

Paypal: ksea@culturefluxmagaxine.com – *or* you can help fight through the link to the GoFundMe campaign that a friend set up if you wish, but that takes longer & they take *much* more out.

I love you, dearly.
Thank you.

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